When..When..Whine!

When words fail to explain how you feel.

When you want to stay happy but are unable to.

When you are around a lot of people yet feel lonely.

When you try to smile but you cannot even move your lips.

When you try to wake up with joy but you just wake up grumpy every morning.

When you wish to enjoy and live life peacefully but breathe to merely survive yet another day.

You! Yes, You must know that no one can save you unless you know 'When' to stop over thinking and 'When' to let go!

Aftermath of cooking

We had a family get-together over the weekend after so long. We generally spend less time on food so we opt for home delivery and more on having a gala time together. Although, this time mom had different plans. She wanted to cook for all of us and trust me she is a great cook.

We had a feast.

 Menu for the day:

• Murungakka sambar
• Lemon rasam
• Aviyal
• Potato
• Semiya payasam
• Sweet payar
• Fruit pachadi
• Vendakka thayir pachadi
• Manga oorga
• Appalam
• Thamarakazhangu vathal

If you are someone who has not had 'Ela Saapadu’ in ages , you would curse me for merely
mentioning these tasty dishes. Generally we go for pizzas, pastas, naans and sabjis. Though this was one hectic cooking process,it was worth it.

I cannot even match my mom’s cooking. I do not know the ABC’s of cooking ,but I am good with washing dishes. Mom mocks that I have a great job as backup. I love washing vessels. My friends who are bachelors and extremely good with cooking often warn me saying 'Once you know to cook you will never ever find washing vessels as fun'. I use it in my favor and bribe mom with washing vessels.

I got to work soon after everyone was done eating. I cleared the surroundings, set my territory and with music turned on started my chore of the day. Ten minutes into it , not exaggerating, somehow the vessels kept on piling and all I could relate to was the 'Akshaya Pathra’.

Through this 'back aching, hand sogging , mentally getting ready for the next meal' chore I had a refreshing happy memory flash by - Prema Amma.

Her name is Rajeshwari . We fondly call her Prema Amma (Prema, her child). I grew up in a
joint family and she was more than a servant maid to all of us; she was like a second mom to
me, my sister and my cousins.

How she managed to wash vessels day in and out in a household where food was prepared for nearly twelve of us, I wonder.

A big salute to people like her.

This was such a happy realization for me.

Why the fuss? Take a bus!

With the sun shining bright and burning us alive, I end up booking a cab instead of taking a bus minutes away from home. To my wonder, I do miss that.

People crib a lot to take a bus and go to work. My relatives with a very concerned look question me, 'Is it not tiring?’ Don't you get vexed?’ ' Aren't buses suffocating’. I give them a big NO and their faces reflect their shock.

From my childhood my mother always made me take buses. When it was something of an emergency we used to take autos . I have seen the woman wait for hours to get a bus even today, though in the meantime I would bug her to buy me some food. May be that impacted on me and I gained enough patience to wait or even travel in an extremely crowded bus.

The wind blowing hard and taking away all the effort you put into setting your hair right; in one Poof! Probably the only thing I hate about taking the window seat, though getting a seat makes your day.

Getting a seat in a bus is what I would call in for a celebration, that too when it is a nice one in particular. Always avoid sitting in-between a bunch of loud group of friends. It can turn out to be a never ending journey. I can totally relate to the feeling of many when I used to travel with my friends during college. Oh! Our never ending laughter can get anyone on their nerves but those were few moments to cherish.

Coming back to finding a seat, never dare to take a seat in front of the conductor. That is the path you dug for yourself to the deaf road - those loud whistles. Somewhere in between would be my best choice where you get to hear nice stories of fellow passengers. Some are depressing , a few spark that moment of realization that you are blessed in life while there are people out there struggling to survive every day.

Striking a conversation with the person sitting beside can do wonders to you as long as you avoid controversial topics like 'Amma or Chinamma’ 'Vijay or Ajith’ 'DMK or ADMK’. Those can get worse I tell you.

For the love of bus journeys :)

Bus journeys are fun let aside the constant fear of being groped by a pervert soul in a crowded bus. With these occurrences getting common day by day your mind does not stop to think of every creepy possible way you can get molested and all the moves you can perform to protect yourself.

One of my favorite moments are when you come across a kid (Ha, obviously not the annoying talkative ones - result of bad parenting) with whom you communicate with crazy facial expressions. That is bliss I tell you. A smile on a baby’s face can make your sweaty journey into a sweet one to remember by.

I might be the only one worrying about the conductor not giving change. My mind fights for all arguments to put forth if he turns out to be the arrogant one. It gets to my head when I find him giving back change to everyone else but me. One reason why my purse is stocked with changes rather than notes.

Like I said earlier, window seats can ruin your day . At times it can make your day even better.

Ask me how?? Those are the best seats to get a hold of when all you want to do is to snore and sleep through long journeys even when the sun burns your face with rage.

One needs to travel in a bus to know what life is outside of your home. I should admit that I have experienced some crappy days in a bus but i believe that is life hitting you hard and letting you know that not every day can be the same and that each journey brings out the best in you.

Flow of thoughts

In our busy schedule we forget to think about life until that one day when we plan to stay at home to stretch out and relax , thoughts come rushing from nowhere. Boom!

There are times when we feel lost; our mind wanders around confused and gets stranded somewhere between past present and the future that we have been dreaming of. In search for peace we get our heads straight and try to distance ourselves from our own thoughts though they keep coming back to haunt us.

There is just so much to life which takes years for people to realize.

Everything remains unclear until we manage to pull ourselves together ; take a deep breath and fill us with surplus amounts of caffeine accompanied by a soothing song for the soul; console and convince ourselves that our life is on the right track.

Now, that is my kind of a day well spent!

One Cheese Fries Parcel!

I feel it is time for me to build my own rocket and head to some place far far away. Away from this planet, where no one will judge me for how "fat" i am.

Who am i? That is something i would like to ask myself and i don't need to hear what a random stranger who makes sure that his opinion does the rounds from his friend to his friend's sister's sister(probably that is me) about the kind of person that i am.

What makes you assume that i am fat because, i eat a lot or that i never exercise or most importantly the "fact" that i am lazy? What makes you assume that i am fat because, i...? Because, i....? Because...?

Let me ask you something!

You!

The one who makes fun of me for being fat. Who are you to judge me for how i look ?

Please pile up all of your shit and run for your life.

I love my body! I don't need your advice. Please.

I know when to exercise. I know what to eat. I know my medical conditions. I know my body.

I have been asked how i became fat?

Do i ask you how you were born with so big a head with nothing on the inside? Some questions always remains a mystery. Don't they?

The most brilliant, much needed for life questions that i have come across and wished for to get right back at them:

Top Five for you:

5. Doesn't your bed break?

 I am sure you got the joke. If you did not, well i am quite heavy. Oh Please! Please laugh.

4. How do you find clothes your size?

 I am naked now. You see me everywhere with no cloth covering my "fat" body, because i am a fat sized "elephant" (Don't get me started on the elephant jokes) who has no decent outfit that fits, to show off my curves.

3. Was that you who danced? Could sense the tremors, Beware! (Laughs at his/her own joke).

Yea, that was me who buried you deep into the ground.

2. Don't you think you should reduce a little weight ? Not that you are fat but, if you try and reduce your weight, you will look more pretty.

Oh! Trying to be nice? Yea sure! You lost a good friend for trying (with a wide smile on my face).

Best and the most frequent question that is put across to every "fat" girl .

1. How will you get a life partner if you are this fat?

"Setha moodindu porela!"

(Translation(Brahmin slang):Please shut up and go)

You commenting about my physique doesn't make me stop craving for the food that i love and will never give me the rush to start exercising the very next day. It sill make me so furious that i want to punch you right on your so called "thin stomach" that your bones crack.

If you want me to look like you, you are advising me to lose my individuality.

Individuality which once lost cannot be gained back but, the weight you lost can.

I would love to be the same "fat" girl living life L size! :-)

From Time To Eternity

It has been a month. It has been very difficult for us all, for me. Everyday i enter our class,my thoughts are with you. I still remember the first day i noticed you in college, telling myself, he must be a nice guy.

Three years later, you managed to be the nicest guy i know.

It all began with random Facebook chats, getting to know each other, the interest we share in TV series, to... mad shitty talks.

I miss those crazy talks, german conversations, adult stuff,  constant annoyance.

Communication lab! Sigh! So much fun.

Never can i forget the coolest guy, getting all tensed up on the interview day (many do not know). I, of all people trying to cool you off. We got placed. Man, i am gonna miss you a lot at work.

I wish i could make you pronounce 'acoustic' correctly one last time (Argghh).

You should know,you would be the first to hit my mind if i ever come across 'Siemens'. :'(

So much. Really. :-(

I will never forget that last Hi5. That last day i saw you. That last moment with you. That last goodbye.

It has been really hard this one month. I really do not know how long it is going to take for me to get over you. To let go off you. I try not to.

A wise person once said that 'something's are just not meant to be, but can only hope'.
I wish he had stuck to the latter.

See you on the other side brother.

My Girl Friend

She was different,she was one of a kind,she stood out of the crowd,she was unique. She was unpredictable. She was a mystery and i was glad to have solved her.

It goes way back to childhood when we met. There was a spark in this little girl,who was always the good kid,teacher's pet,popular and breathtaking in every way possible.

There were times i used to wonder if she would ever be my friend,me being the new comer not that many noticed.

She was kind enough to make things work out the way it had to. We found each other go crazy over one another. Fight. A lot. Through letters. Ah! Those days. Sigh! I remember cribbing to her the most about how sucky life is. She had the patience to hear me out and comfort me with much love.

Now, we merely talk, nor fight through all the hectic schedule.
I know friend, you try a lot and am overwhelmed.

I recall, you are the first girl friend i really had. The one i trust,love,care and would do anything, for this journey to travel past all the bumpy roads.

The way you admire me, support and guide me, hit me hard to realize my mistakes, and teach me to be happy and blessed with this awesome life.

You are my beauty, my soul sister, my treasure, my bestie.

My unsung friend.